Just because they add three Bodies in the title doesn’t make it any better.

I always knew I’d turn into one of those grumpy old men that shake their fists at the younger generation. It only took 94 minutes of watching Director Halina Reijn’s Bodies Bodies Bodies (2022) for me to go full on Statler and Waldorf. 

If you’re too young to know who Statler and Waldorf are, they’re the old grumpy Muppets that delight in heckling everyone on the stage. If you are too young to know who the Muppets are, just look them up on YouTube. 

Written by Sarah DeLappe and Kristen Roupenian, Bodies Bodies Bodies focuses on a group of 20-somethings, and an older dude, one of the younger girls met on Tinder, which decide to have a party during a hurricane in a remote location.  

During said storm, they decide to play a party game called Bodies Bodies Bodies. Basically, the game is very similar to Mafia or Werewolf. Most younger kids know the game because of the popular video game Among Us. The game is played by one player being chosen at random to be the killer. Then the lights are turned out and people hide. The killer taps players on the back when they find them, rendering them dead. When survivors find a “dead” player, they shout out Body Body Body and then all the lights are turned on. There’s a round where the killer has to deceive the other players and the survivors have to suss out the killer.  

When one of the friends turns up dead … and not “dead” … things get real. Friends betray friends as they can’t figure out who they trust.  

The main character is Bee, played by Maria Bakalova. The character is supposed to serve as the eyes of the audience because she’s not one of the group. She’s the girlfriend of Sophie, played by Amandla Stenberg. Sophie is sort of the black sheep of the group. 

Most of the film is filmed in darkness since the power goes out and the party has to maneuver around the mansion with only their cell phones to light their path.  

That’s the first outrageous thing that I noticed. Throughout 90 percent of the film, the characters use the flashlight on their phones nonstop. Not once did they have to worry about the phone’s battery life. 

One of the issues I have with the film is that I didn’t like or even sympathize with any of the characters. The one exception was Greg, played by Lee Pace. I really felt sorry for him. Think about it: a 40-year-old actually manages to find a rich lady that’s half his age on Tinder (that isn’t cat fishing him), gets invited to party with other 20-year-olds and ends up getting caught up in the film’s deadly shenanigans. 

Most of the deaths occur offscreen, which is mainly to hide the killer’s identity from the audience. However, when an on-screen death is shown, it is so predictable that it’s just boring. Speaking of predictable, I was able to guess the ending around the halfway point.  

Having said all of that, I did think it was a solid storyline. However, I felt that it would’ve better served as a novel than as a film.  

Either they spent a night murdering their friends or they just got back from a horrific rave.

The film tries to comment on current social trends and issues like TikTokking, gas lighting, and being triggered. The film could’ve gone harder on that commentary, in my opinion.  

Overall, I think Bodies Bodies Bodies was an underwhelming dud of a film. I wish I could’ve gone to the theater with a friend so we could really get our Statler and Waldorf on. At least then it would be entertaining.  

The film is rated R for mild sex and nudity, moderate violence and gore, severe profanity, moderate alcohol, drugs, and smoking, and moderate scenes that are frightening and intense. 

As of Tuesday, Aug. 16 the film has a 89% Critic Score and a 73% Audience Score on Rotten Tomatoes and a 6.7/10 on IMDb. I have no clue how those scores are that high. For me, it was around a 5/10.  

At least it was better than Morbius (2022). 

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